Inspired By Dopeness

I fell in love with hip hop when I first heard "My Name Is" by Eminem. I remember being in my dads Cadillac around 1999. I was the biggest Will Smith fan at the time. Big Willie Style was my shit! Now, I know probably because Nas ghostwrote most of the album. When I played the album two times in a row, we took it out, the radio came on and the DJ gave an introduction about a white rapper. "Hi, kids do you like violence?" I was hooked. I became immersed in the world of hip hop. I burned a copy of the Slim Shady EP from my cousin because I wasn't allowed to buy it and I hid it under my bed. I wore that CD out. But it was my cousin that really got me into it. We would go on these long road trips to California and Louisiana and I would go through all of his CD's. He had all the explicit songs.

This was way before MP3 players were the norm. I had a little silver and red Sony player. And man, hearing Lil Wayne and the Hot Boys way before he was popular, was amazing. Lil Wayne, Dr. Dre, Eminem, Jay Z, Ja Rule, Alicia Keys, Tupac, Biggie, he had everything. I loved rap enough to try it but I hadn't decided to dedicate my life to it yet. Over those years my love with hip hop grew stronger with each CD I listened to. Hearing Renegade for the first time was like a huge moment to me. I remember listening to Em's verse like, "I have to be this good?' I still hadn't decided to peruse it yet though. Basketball was my love at the time. Something my cousin also put me up on.

It wasn't until the Anger Management 3 Tour came to town that I really decided to peruse it. I knew they were coming to town and I wanted to go but my dad wasn't the type to buy concert tickets. So I thought I had no chance of going. My homie was going though, he bought a couple of tickets in the nosebleeds. I remember being so jealous. Eminem was like a god to me. Still to this day he's my favorite rapper of all time. Out of the blue, my homie calls me and tells me that he won a couple more Luxury Box tickets from a local radio station. He told me if I wanted to go I could have his old ticket. Nosebleeds or not I didn't give a fuck. I wanted to go. I didn't even ask my dad, I didn't give a shit if he said yes or no I was going. When we got there I remember Lil John was opening. Then 50 Cent, and finally Eminem. I was up there with two of my homies friends, John and his girlfriend. When the concert was over they said I was the most boring person they ever been to a concert with. But they didn't understand I was having a life changing moment. I remember looking down at them on the stage astonished. I remember thinking, "This is what I want to do with my life." I knew it. I felt it. I just sat there, quiet, soaking it all in. Words can't describe the feeling. It was beautiful. Inspiring. Amazing. Seeing all of my favorite rappers on stage, Obie Trice, D12, Eminem, 50 Cent, Stat Quo, it was truly life altering.

When we left I was quiet. I didn't say a word. I remember the parking lot had posters promoting Proofs debut album on every light pole. I remember looking back and seeing the tour buses. Everybody was pumped. The show was amazing. I was silent. Before we got in the Yukon truck my homie use to have I turned and said to him, only loud enough for him to hear, "That's going to be me up there one day." He laughed. We got in the car and the first song that came on was off of the Anger Management 3 Mixtape. "Emulate."

Obie the person that came up introverted
Cause of nervousness, that was solely the only verdict
It was worth it cause he changed, became so observant
Serving such of a purpose
If you knew him earlier in his days, it's like a different version
So much hurting and pain gave him game for certain
That's why it's curtains in this murder, if you get him worked up
I'm so assertive on these motherfuckers acting tougher
Had enough of isolating myself in a room
Writing poems and songs, doing the same in school
Now look what he became, a fool
Cause he learned how to sustain his tool and not tain fame from you
Living hard but still Julliard
A god walks and ain't spend a day in the pew
Regardless of this I draw visual, pictures when a nigga vents
So welcome to the art department

Those words. That verse. He explained my life to a tee. I knew that rapping was for me. And in that moment I decided I wanted to peruse it full time. A year or so later, I dropped out of school in my senior year. I didn't see any use for it, mostly because I sat in class and wrote raps all day anyway. I came up on the values of Eminem. Say something when you spit, have a purpose, lyrics first, and master your craft. I believe all musicians strive to be as good as the artists that they listen to. The less skilled your favorite bands or rappers are, the faster you learn how to make that music. If you listen to the weakest rappers with the weakest flows, you can figure out that style pretty fast. If you listen to the most complex rappers, it will take you years to sound anywhere near them. It will take longer to figure it all out. And it took me years. In that time, the game totally changed, unfortunately. It wasn't about lyrics and saying something in your verses. Too many people seen the lucrative side of hip hop and started making music strictly for monetary gains. People didn't start rapping for the love of hip hop, they started rapping to become famous. They started rapping for the women. They started rapping for the money.

I have never wanted to be famous. I want my music to be famous, but I have no desire to be famous. But back to the game. Everything changed. All the values that were instilled in me from years of listening to the realest MC's became meaningless. I struggled with that for a while. The reasons why rap became my obsession are not only not present but they seem to be frowned upon in this generation. I came to a crossroads. I want to be successful with this rap shit. This is my passion. But over the years it's become a job. Even a burden on some occasions. I want to bring that back. I want to bring back that feeling. But I don't know if people want it back. The thing nobody tells you about perusing your dreams is, that nobody will care about something just because you do.

If you want to be successful you have to give people what they want. That's why so many artists like painters were slept on their entire lives. It's amazing how you can be so great at something and still get slept on. How you can be so good at something but people just don't recognize it. That's what I'm afraid of. I don't want the be Van Gogh. I want people to appreciate my art while I'm here. And that's what Pulp Noir is. It's about making songs that people will accept. If there is no demand for what I'm doing, no matter how great it may be, it's just not going to work. I knew I needed to changed things at least a year ago. But my biggest mistake was listening to other peoples advice about where I should go. I was sending beats to other people to get their approval. That was stupid. I know what music I need to make. It was my friends and people that have actually listened to my music over the years that got be back on track with two simple words. Do you.

Society always says that, but I don't think they really mean it. Do you. You "do you" and then they tell you, "not like that." Did our parents lie to us? Can we really be anything we want to be? There's the self doubt that's always just around the bend. I block it out. I've adopted the state of mind of not giving a fuck. I won't let other people's opinion drown out my own. I know what needs to be done. And I will get it done. I recognized that I had to do things a little different and that's what Pulp Noir is. This album has been by far the hardest album that I've ever made. Constant set backs, too much wasted time from waiting on other people, large gaps in between recording sessions, too many opinions. I've learned to block all of that out. I've grown and on this album I'm coming back stronger than ever. When we start promoting, I 100 percent believe that this album will be the one that start it off. All the years of waiting, preparing, hoping, set backs, limited resources, and hard work are about to pay of. 2015 is the year Sin City Quinn will start to become a house hold name. I want to be the greatest rapper of all time. That's what I do this for. I have a long way to go. A long way. But it's all about the journey, right?